regarde, le kerfuffle

i'm getting published

2009-05-29T18:07:00.002-04:00

...well, sort of.

I made this insignificant entry, 3 years ago in my livejournal, when I first arrived fresh faced in Montreal. Well, this picture, along with a sentence from the entry is getting published in a book called We Feel Fine: An Almanac of Human Emotion. It's hitting the bookshelves on December 1, and there will be a launch party and all that jazz in New York. They're even sending me a complimentary copy, which is quite awesome.

The picture they're using by the way is this one:

It was taken in what was formerly known as Cafe Esperanza, and I was with my friend Sara watching Caroline Keating perform on the open mic. I think she's somewhere in Europe now, playing to European audiences and doing European things.

disillusionment

2009-03-12T09:13:00.003-04:00

I've been thinking about my priorities as of late.

I've also realized that depending on other people is an exercise in futility. That's not news for a lot of people, but it's something I am experiencing at the moment. I am stupid for letting people disappoint me so much.

Every time the temperature goes above 5 degrees, the huge block of ice on the roof starts melting and our ceilings begin to leak dirty brown rainwater everywhere. So while everyone is happily enjoying the beautiful balmy spring weather I am listening to the miserable dripping of my ceilings. One of the leaks is right above my mattress.

I'm old enough to know that time doesn't slow down, even if you've ground to a halt.

I hope things are better next week.

february

2009-02-25T20:30:00.002-05:00

It snows a lot here.

only in the korean language

2008-11-11T08:18:00.005-05:00

호환: a disaster caused by tigers; the ravages of tigers

a thousand and one lights

2008-11-01T07:21:00.002-04:00

I went to the Magic of Lanterns festival at the Chinese Garden of the Montreal Botanical Garden last night, with two beautiful friends. The weather was perfect, and I felt as if we were in a different world. If you happen to be in Montreal, I highly recommend that you go, it's worth the time and trek out to the Pie IX area. I took the following pictures with my camera phone, so the quality isn't too great, but I hope you enjoy nonetheless.

on midterms, life, and being a mental patient.

2008-10-16T17:04:00.002-04:00

There's just something about finishing an exam that makes life feel so good.

What is it about exam time that just propels me to bad food, too much coffee and not enough sleep? And when I say bad food, I mean a block of cheese with microwaved pita bread. Yes. Gross. And by too much coffee, I mean two full cups of Second Cup coffee within a 4 hour period. There is an insane amount of potent caffeine in Second Cup coffee. And finally, by not enough sleep I mean going to bed at 2 am and waking up with a start at 7:50 am with the thought: "American foreign policy midterm."

Also, I had an incredibly strange dream/recollection last night in my exhausted, post-caffeinated sleep cycle where my sister and I (at around 6 or 7 years old) fought over a floating bath toy doll that we fondly named "Lifeguard" (which exists in real life). Then my mom came in and gave us each a "Lifeguard." I don't know why, but in the dream I was observing all this from the outside and finding it incredibly funny, and giggling hysterically. I will never know for sure, but I had the feeling the morning after that I was actually laughing. Anyways, the point is that exams induce me to act like a mental hospital patient. I can't imagine what my roommate must have thought if she were awake to hear my crazy sleep-giggling. Hah.

As for the midterm itself, I knew all my material, but it was a classic case of not having enough time to write out everything I wanted to. Oh well, I got the bonus question half right. It was a picture of a prominent American Secretary of State Dean Acheson, whose name I identified correctly but incorrectly identified as Defense Secretary. Not that it matters so much, I was writing it way past the point where I should have put down my pen, and sitting in the very front row means that the professor can definitely call you out on that.

Anyways, that's all over as of yesterday. I will only have to go through this again in two weeks, when I have two blockbuster exams. And when I say blockbuster, I mean exams that I will not study for last minute (again!) like the one I just had. Just watch, I'm going to go to a cafe right after my meeting today and study so hard my ass just might fall off.

Best of luck to everyone on their midterms, or love, or life. Or love life. In my case, it's midterms = my life = no love. For anybody.

one small step for mrs.hong...

2008-10-06T22:22:00.000-04:00

This is another reason why I love my kooky Korean mother to death.

(on the phone)
Mom: (in Korean) So Beth,I was thinking, maybe this winter vacation me and Alice go on a cruise!

Me: Oh really? Which cruise are you going to take?

Mom: (in English) Well, I recently meet this homosexual man, and his, his...

Me: Partner?

Mom: Yes, their life is interesting! One of them teaches art at UBC.

Me: How did you meet them?

Mom: Ohh I don't know, I didn't ask them such personal detail...

Me: No, but how did YOU meet them?

Mom: Well, one of them has liver cancer, and I take care of him...anyway, they go on many cruises! And they give me so much good information. Beth, do you have pen? Write this down: "cruise specialist," and phone number is 800 544 2469.
------

After this conversation, I marveled at the fact that this was probably the first time I have ever heard my mom speaking positively about gay people in my entire life. And for those of you in the know, yes this is the same woman who would "disown" me if I was a lesbian, and feared that my roommate in first year was going to "slither into my bed" one night (I swear I am not making this up).

I guess it all comes down to basic human interaction and its power to break down barriers. I mean, my mom doesn't actually hate or fear gay people, she's just never really met any. And look what happened: a simple conversation about the most banal of topics allowed her to see perhaps for the first time that this gay man is a decent human being, instead of whatever she imagined gay people would be like in her head (something I would pay money to find out, just for the hilarity).

Anyways, perhaps this is just the irrational and over-illusioned optimist in me, but it made me believe a little more in humanity.

xoxo, gossip girl

2008-09-24T02:37:00.004-04:00

I have been watching Gossip Girl lately, because my roommate does. It's kind of turned into a bonding activity for us, actually. We both love laughing at the utter ridiculousness of the characters and the plot...not to mention the fact that there really is no bad plot line the writers won't cross. Seriously, sometime this season there's going to be plot twists involving witchcraft and direct incest (they've already crossed the indirect incest line).

Another show I've been meaning to catch up on: The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. I won't lie about the fact that I even have a wee bit of a crush on Jon Stewart. What can I say, I have a weak spot for funny, smart Jews.

moment of zen

2008-09-16T20:31:00.001-04:00

Overheard two days ago at the Second Cup café on Milton and Parc: "Ew, it smells like old people here." -a girl, probably from Toronto.

my apartment

2008-09-15T17:58:00.003-04:00

I've been having a very good day so far, thanks to the following:

Finding 85% chocolate at the Dollar Store

Running into some people I knew, having pleasant small-talk

A really good swim in the morning

Interesting readings for US Foreign Policy

Also, I figured that since it's been awhile since I updated, I might as well show you where I am living:

The study area, located in the living room. It also happens to be by far the biggest room in the entire apartment. I love it.

That circular window is connected to my roommate's bedroom.

That is a working fireplace! And note the dollar store dinosaurs...

My roommate's interesting selection.

We took off the old cabinet mirror and replaced it with a mirror from Ikea. My roommate painted the mirror blue and the area around it pink, and I painted the little people. Don't ask how we got this idea.

Don't worry, no one can actually see through that little window. Especially in the winter (it will probably be completely obscured by snow).

Kitchen...with very little counter space and the smallest sink I have ever used in my entire life. :(

The view of my room from my door. It is very, very small.

My mirror.

My window. Excuse the hideous curtains; I am replacing them soon (i.e. when I have time, which may be a long while yet).

My bed. Still using the same bedsheets from first year.

And that concludes my exciting tour. Anyone living in the Montreal area is welcome to come over at wintertime to cook marshmellows over my fireplace.

2008-08-29T15:43:00.002-04:00

I'm still alive!

I've been AWOL from the internet for the past little while because I didn't have internet set up in the apartment until today. I am going to go through a hectic time trying to get my life in order before classes begin on September 2.

Stay tuned for more updates, though.

snapshots

2008-08-19T18:20:00.015-04:00

One of my favourite things to do when I am idling on the internet is to look at the BBC News feature Day in Pictures, because all of the photos are so interesting. They are all little snapshots of people, places, things all around the world, most of which I will probably never physically encounter in my lifetime. I suppose that it's my own little way of travelling around the world...on an internet connection.

P.S. Someone in London has the same umbrella as I do.

back west

2008-08-10T00:11:00.010-04:00

Hello folks, sorry for the extreme laxness of updates. And by extreme laxness, I mean nonexistence. I've been busy family-ing it up here in Coquitlam, otherwise known as "that other place with H&M." If you don't know what H&M is, good for you. I've spent way too much time and money there this summer. Living and working in downtown Toronto is really bad for people like me, who are spendthrifts on the outside but deeply repressed shopaholics on the inside. And this is not to mention the fact that I walked through that major Yonge-Dundas intersection with the Forever 21 and H&M beckoning me from both sides of the street, Monday through Friday. Oh sweet Lord, so much temptation....!

Okay, so enough of that sickening consumer whorism.

I don't really feel a connection with the west coast anymore. I have no idea what's going on here, nor do I particularly care. Perhaps its one of the detriments of living such a transcoastal life, where I don't develop much of an attachment to any one city. Honestly, if someone were to ask me who I will vote for in the next BC provincial election, I'd probably be at a loss for words. In fact, I'd ask whether Gordon Campbell was still premier, or if some other old white guy took over.

If I had more time and energy I'd go into the rationale for these, but here is the latest ranking scale for my top Canadian cities.

Toronto > Montreal > Vancouver > everywhere else in Canada (that I've yet to visit).

Yes, that's right. I've become a convert to the big city that everyone loves to hate. Say what you want, but size does matter when it comes to cities- for me, anyway. And Toronto, boy. You got size, you got diversity, you got amazing food. You got it all.

(And one thing that last sentence doesn't have is good grammar. I know, it annoys me too. But it's too late now, I've already typed it out with a stupid grin on my face, and it's got such a nice rythm of its own, don't you think? Spare me the grammar rod this one time, I promise I won't spoil this blog...too often.)

an ode, to fruit

2008-07-24T09:07:00.014-04:00

I love fruit, but apples and bananas are the ones I consume most. There's something so satisfying about biting into a crisp, sweet Royal Gala apple that is incomparable to anything on this earth. I can say the same for biting into a perfectly ripened yet still firm banana. Whenever I am ordering a smoothie, I always go for one with bananas because it adds that extra creamy sweetness that nothing else comes close to replicating.

Of course, there are many other types of fruit that I love to eat, but they are seasonal and prone to my whims, whereas I can eat apples and bananas at any time throughout the year. Mangoes, oranges, watermelons, cherries, nectarines, peaches, pineapples, cantaloupes, honeydew melons, grapes, plums, and strawberries are all on my list of fruit that's good for eatin', but in the end I always go back to my classic red and yellow.

People should really eat more fruit- natural reds and yellows, as opposed to those printed on containers of greasy french fries and hamburgers of a certain fast-food chain corporation which shall go unnamed here. Think of how different the United States of America could be if everyone did replace their red-and-yellow containers of harmful, artificial "food" for wholesome apples and bananas! It would transform the country into a more prosperous, healthier nation of smiling Americans (because apples keep your teeth strong!) with marvelously well-adjusted bowel movements.

Mmm, now I am craving an apple and a banana.

the single life

2008-07-23T13:34:00.018-04:00

Sir Frederick Gorky was the type of man who was not inclined to covet his neighbours' posessions. He was rather proud of his comfortable, respectable-looking townhouse in the surburbs of London, and his large collection of stamps from all over the world, some dating back to the early 18th century. Although he had lost his left foot in the Second World War as a young man-- and the love of his first wife as a result-- Sir Gorky accepted these misfortunes as a counterbalance to the many blessings he felt he had recieved later on in life.

"One does not recieve a perfect collector's set. It is something to be acquired through trial, tribulation, and a bit of luck," he liked to say, stroking his favourite stockbook of extremely rare Madagascan stamps. His aging gray tabby Thorace would meow softly in response, scratching absent-mindedly at a stray piece of carpeting on the stairs. Thorace had been Sir Gorky's companion for eight years, and his presence seldom failed to surprise the occasional and increasingly rare visitors to Sir Gorky's home.

"Who knew that the crusty old geezer had a soft spot- for a fat cat? Oh, and I daresay that it was ugly as sin!"

Yes, Thorace was a bit hefty, but Sir Gorky liked him that way. Despite his own austere lifestyle, which included a lot of dry toast (no butter) and Tetley English Breakfast tea, he took great pleasure in feeding Thorace the most sumptious and fattening of cat foods. After his ample meals, Thorace would pad about the house lazily, emitting his distinctive meows of satisfaction. Occasionally, he would also fart- but Sir Gorky didn't mind that. He liked Thorace's presence in the house just the way it was- he could feel it, but not enough to feel intruded on. In fact, Sir Gorky had grown so fond of Thorace's unintrusive companionship that he rarely left the house, except to pick up his usual can of beans, brown bread, and eggs at the local grocers.

One fine Sunday morning, Sir Gorky was sitting in his usual armchair, poring over a new package from Australia containing freshly minted stamps commemorating Australia's aborigional culture. As he carefully picked up a stamp with metal tweezers to place into a sleeve of his stampbook, he heard a loud crashing of glass and wood that reverbarated like thunder throughout the still house.

"What in bloody heavens?!" Sir Gorky rose unsteadily to his feet, his thin body trembling with sudden adrenaline. Somewhere at the back of the house, near the kitchen, Sir Gorky heard Thorace meow softly.

When he arrived, Thorace was already dead. The scene was something akin to the tableau from Martin Scorcese's film Taxi Driver. In lieu of bullet holes and dead pimps, there was shattered glass, ceramics and a badly squished cat under a large display cabinet. Thorace's grey head was facing the kitchen entrace, where Sir Gorky stood frozen with terror and shock. His eyes, black and lifeless, and his mouth had remained open, as if in mid-scream. "Ahh," Thorace seemed to be gasping. "Ahhhh."

Sir Gorky began to tremble uncontrollably, gripping a chair for support. He wrenched his eyes away from Thorace's strained face, and staggered haphazardly toward his armchair. He collapsed onto it heavily, knocking over his metal tweezers and a few rows of stamps in the process. He felt something in the very core of his head snap, slightly above the junction of his skull and neck. An overwhelmingly profound grief enveloped him. He squeezed his eyes shut and saw again Thorace's sad, gasping face. "Ahhhh."

Almost a fortnight later, the milkman finally decided to investigate the mystery of Sir Gorky's uncollected, curdled milk. Sir Gorky's feisty Mexican neighbour Francesca Lopez, who knew where the spare key was hidden, entered the house with the milkman lingering uneasily at the door. Moments later, she ran out screaming hyterically and cursing in Spanish. The milkman trembled with fear and anticipation, but dared not enter.

The police found Sir Gorky's corpse slumped on his armchair, with what came to 247 stockbooks of stamps stacked up all around him like a miniature fortress. In his arms was his badly decomposed and flattened cat, its arms and legs spread out in an eternal snow angel.

"Blimey, mate. That kitty smells like the arse of Satan 'imself," one of the police officers said, breaking the silence. The others nodded or grunted their agreement, and pinched their noses.

A note, written with neat, legible writing was found in Sir Gorky's blazer pocket.

"Dear sir or madam,

I have asked for nothing more than some peace, quiet, and balance in my life. By balance, I mean some form of compensation for the many misfortunes I have endured. I am fortunate enough to have enjoyed just compensation for the past decade or so, especially with my dearest feline companion Thorace. So in the light of this most recent misfortune, which is to say his most untimely death, I would request that you auction off my stamp collection, and donate the proceeds to The Royal Philatelic Society London.

Also, I should like my and Thorace's ashes to be scattered over a beach in Madagascar. The name of it escapes me at this time due to my grief, but if you look in page 201 of stampbook volume iii, there is only one stamp on the entire page with a beach on it. I should like very much to be blessed one last time."

a hyperbolic ode

2008-07-15T22:30:00.000-04:00

Michael Ondaatje.

I want to marry you and your beautiful brain and soul and emotional history. Where in the world did you go, what did you see, feel, hear, breathe, smell, touch to get this gift you have of writing such lush prose? Sometimes I stop reading to ponder how you even come up with certain turns of phrase, metaphors so strikingly original and mildly cryptic, like a deeper wisdom that I feel I am too young to appreciate until I go back to that same passage years and years from now. Then maybe my face will light up with a shadow of understanding, that "Ahhh" moment.

But most of all, I love you because you help me forget everything- including myself. I wish you could be immortal so that you can keep leading me into the deep woods, getting me lost with my full permission.

P.S. Divisadero.

starbucks romance

2008-07-14T02:28:00.003-04:00

You know what's such a cliché these days? Meeting someone at Starbucks.

I was sitting with my laptop today, trying to get some work done for my United Nations committee (now 13 days overdue) when I noticed a pretty, petite girl with dark hair and a really cute guy stealing looks at each other. This was made all the more obvious by the fact that the girl had her laptop out and open, but was obviously not working on anything...in fact, she kept turning her head to look at the guy, who was sitting behind her to the right. This arrangement made it so that whenever she glanced at him it was super obvious and screamed, "Hey cutie! I'm checking you out!" But it was so cute because she was trying to be discreet about it, and the guy kept glancing up from his book (which he was obviously not reading) to look at her too, and a few times they caught each other doing it and hastily returned to their barely-contained longing to exchange numbers.

So this whole scenario was pretty much unfolding before my eyes like a saccharine made-for-corporate-headquarters television special, and I must admit that I was totally sucked into it. I couldn't resist smiling and stealing looks at them, stealing looks at each other. If I filmed them, it'd make a damn good commercial for Starbucks.

As for me, I am resigned to my lifelong romance with coffee, wherever it can be found. I've already decided that the wedding will involve dancing goats and David Sedaris. You're all invited, of course.

i like chess playing goats but dancing goats are even better

2008-07-12T18:01:00.007-04:00

Wednesday July 10, 2008 will go down in history as the day I met David Sedaris.

He came to the Indigo bookstore on Bloor Street to promote his new book, When You Are Engulfed in Flames. I actually read it while waiting in line, which was fortunate because I arrived 2 and a half hours early and was already the 20th person. I am delighted to report that Mr.Sedaris has made a heady comeback from the great stinker that was Dress Your Family in Couroy and Denim. Unfortunately I have no pictures from the event itself, as it was made abundantly clear that at the request of the author, "there is absolutely no photography or videography allowed," at the risk of being removed from the store. Nevertheless, I was so happy that at last I would be meeting David Sedaris in person.

David did book signings first, and when it was my turn I literally squealed with excitement.

"Oh my god! This is like meeting a unicorn!"
"Why gosh, that's awfully flattering. How old are you?"
"I'm turning twenty in about two weeks."
"Oh, well here...I have a gift for you."

And then he pulled out a transparent plastic bag filled with random things that he got from a brief sojourn in Brazil. He pulled out two items, a complimentary shampoo bottle from the Copacabana hotel, and a cheap little bracelet he bought from a street vendor. I asked him if I could have both, to which he chuckled and said, "No, you can't have both....choose one."

So I chose the bracelet. Look!

I think that I was the only person who got a 2 cent gift from David Sedaris that night. I was so very very happy. It's funny how the smallest things can make me so content with life.

Also, I told him about how I blogged about him and dancing goats, and this what he wrote on my book:

"To Beth, I like chess playing goats but dancing goats are even better....DS"

Later, he read an essay from his new book, titled "All the Beauty You Will Ever Need," which featured among many other colourful characters Beth, the drug dealer's wife who refers to the remote control as a "ni**er." And then he read out some hilarious diary entries from all over the place-- London, Paris, the United States. And then he read out some short stories he was working on, in which all the characters were animals. The set up was a cat getting her hair done at a hair salon....run by a baboon. And after, there was a Q&A, and then it was over. I think I walked home with a huge goofy grin on my face. That two and a half hours in line was definitely worth the wait. I love it when things are worth the wait-- especially since it happens so rarely. Story of my life: I bust my butt for something, only to find that it was not worth the effort/time/energy.

So here's to dancing goats, which are better than chess playing ones (according to David Sedaris), and David Sedaris himself, who has regained his rightful place in my heart as one of the funniest men alive.

dancing goats and david sedaris

2008-07-09T09:39:00.004-04:00

While walking home with my beautiful friend Soo and my roommate Neil near Yorkville, Soo makes a casual observation that makes me stop and screech like a madwoman with her hair on fire.

"Hey look, David Sedaris is coming."

"OH MY GOD WHAT, DAVID SEDARIS IS COMING TO TORONTO? WHAT? WHAT?!!"

And as I say this, I am already whipping out my cellphone so that I can schedule it to remind me: July 10, 7 PM. David Sedaris. My love since high school.

If you have never read any of his books, namely Me Talk Pretty One Day, Naked, or Santaland Diaries (in my opinion his three best), then you don't know what you've been missing. He writes essays, mostly autobiographical but with so much witty insight and humorous flourish that you find yourself unable to hold your laughter in. I literally had to control my laughter once on the bus, reading Naked. He's just that funny. But then again, I suppose a disclaimer is necessary here: his humor is of the dry, acerbic kind-- if you tend to enjoy more bathroom humor, you may not enjoy his writing so much.

But as for me, you know where I'll be tomorrow, at 6 pm. I will be camped out in front of Indigo on Bay and Bloor, with butterflies in my stomach.

And, on a completely unrelated note, here is a charming little tidbit I found out on coffee:

"Coffee use can be traced at least to as early as the 9th century, when it appeared in the highlands of Ethiopia. According to legend, Ethiopian shepherds were the first to observe the influence of the caffeine in coffee beans when the goats appeared to "dance" and to have an increased level of energy after consuming wild coffee berries."

Coffee is the one thing I will never give up. I tried a few times, with little success. Nothing really has the same effect on me as coffee does- sleep, energy teas, fruit, et cetera.

Besides, anything that makes goats dance cannot be a bad thing. Don't you agree?

waxing falafelosical: beauty

2008-07-05T08:13:00.010-04:00

I've had the opportunity to make lots of leaps and bounds in my quest to understand myself as of late, especially regarding my relationships with many people. This is the result of my involuntary isolation from meaningful face-to-face conversation and encounters with close friends in Montreal. There, I have friends I can call and meet. I find nothing more refreshing than catching up with a friend who I haven't seen for awhile and just sharing stories, laughing, reflecting. But this summer in Toronto (like last summer in France), has seen a lot of fleeting acquaintances, half-hearted promises to hang out "sometime" this or that weekend, and ultimately ended with me sitting at home or most likely a café with a book. I remember clearly sitting one day near a window at the Starbucks on Queen Street West, reading Aldous Huxley's "Brave New World," but I kept getting distracted by all the people passing by.

It had been awhile since I just sat at a window seat and watched people, so that's exactly what I did: I sat for perhaps 4 hours and watched, occasionally writing down observations and thoughts into my little blue notebook. I suppose the one thing that struck me the most from that day was all the beauty I saw that day. And when I say "beauty" I do not refer only to physical appearance. I saw beauty in almost everyone that passed by, in all shapes, ages, sizes and groups. I saw beauty in the scraggle of teenagers walking by, basking in the warm glow of summer and laughing infectiously amongst each other about something one can probably only laugh about as a teenager. I saw beauty in the old woman dressed in her simple summer dress and carefully coiffed hair, walking alone. I saw beauty in a young African-Canadian woman and her vibrant dress and graceful walk, and of course I saw beauty in the countless couples that walked by, holding hands and talking about this and that.

I used to struggle a lot with the concept of beauty on a personal level, in terms of what it meant for me and others. I think that I still struggle with it even now...although not to the extent that I did earlier on, in my adolescence. I looked up "beauty" on Wikipedia and found a surprisingly succinct, and insightful introduction to the concept of beauty:

Beauty is a characteristic of a person, place, object or idea that provides a perceptual experience of pleasure, meaning or satisfaction. Beauty is studied as part of aesthetics, sociology, social psychology and culture. As a cultural creation, beauty has been extremely commercialized.

An "ideal beauty" is a person who is admired, or possesses features widely attributed to beauty in a particular culture. A number of historical individuals have become icons of beauty - for example, women like Cleopatra VII, Helen of Troy, and Marilyn Monroe.

The subjective experience of "beauty" often involves the interpretation of some entity as being in balance and harmony with nature, which may lead to feelings of attraction and emotional well-being. "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" is a common phrase that expresses this concept.^[1]

In its most profound sense, beauty may engender a salient experience of positive reflection about the meaning of one's own existence. An "object of beauty" is anything that reveals or resonates with personal meaning.

While I'm sure that in the realm of philosophy, there is much more to be said on the subject, I can gladly resign myself-- for the moment-- to accepting that I am very much a subjective beholder of beauty in this world. I think that objects of beauty live, breathe, and walk among us every day, embodied if not in individuals then in their presence with others, in their words, their actions, their creations. It's one of the reasons life is really worth living.

What do you think?

cold water

2008-07-04T00:24:00.001-04:00

There's something about listening to Damien Rice that brings out the complete emo girl in me.

I need to make some friends in this city!!!

"nobody knows i'm a lesbian"

2008-07-02T22:09:00.005-04:00

Seriously one of the best t-shirts I've seen a guy wear in a long, long time.

Went shopping at Kensington Market for some groceries this evening, after a frantic scrubbing and cleaning session of our entire apartment, because I had a horde of potential subletters lined up to view it.

To elaborate, I am a stupid dumbass and signed a lease that goes until the end of August, even though clearly I am leaving at the end of July. I am such a tactless dimwit sometimes. Anyways, Neil was getting ready for his hot date with the new man in his life, so I am left sitting here by myself, drinking cranberry juice and updating my oft-neglected blog.

Well, I guess it could always be worse. I could be watching Schindler's List by myself like that fateful Monday night two weeks ago when I...sigh. Okay, this is way too depressing. Happy thoughts, happy thoughts!

Oh, here's a happy thought: my mommy wants to give me money to go to the United States of America. Specifically Harvard Law school. Yes, this woman is on a mission to make me her unfulfilled dream. All I can say is, travel is travel. I am going to start planning my trip like....right now.

ladies, gentlemen and ladyboys...unite!

2008-07-02T09:19:00.007-04:00

Last week= amazing.

A lot of first times for me in the last several days, including my very first Pride week! The theme for this year was Unified! as seen above.

This pictures makes me happy to no end.

There were male go-go dancers on top of this lounge/bar all week long. They were hypnotising to watch, especially at night.

Gay-shas!!! (Sorry, I had to.)

Ahhh, sausage fest.

Neil and I, getting happy in the afternoon.

Sarah and her friend Allison came down for the festivities too! :)

Ahaha. Priceless.

Also, some pictures from a Wednesday night at Zelda's (in anticipation of Pride Week)

There was a wet underwear contest!!!

Before:

...and After:

Our host(esses) had way too much fun with their water guns, lol.

The drag queens absolutely love Neil.

There was also a couples makeout contest:

Announcing the winners...

All in all, a great week. There were so many things that happened in between, but those stories are the best recounted face to face. ;) You can see more fabulous scandalousness here.

I hope you all had a wonderful week as well.

fuck th3 w0rld!

2008-06-23T08:34:00.004-04:00

This morning, the title bar of the Economist print edition was "fuck th3 w0rld!" I wish I had taken a screencap, because after a few clicks on the "refresh" button, it was back to the usual "Print Edition." Still, it sure woke me up.

Speaking of waking up, I was wide awake at 3 AM this morning due to my very early bedtime. 8:30 PM, to be exact. I know, I am an old lady. Sunday nights are the best for being an old lady. Friday and Saturday nights? Not so much. So, a brief recap:

Friday night my dear roommate Neil, his friends and I went to Circa, the biggest and supposedly best nightclub in all of Toronto. Well, I'll give credit where it's due: it sure is big. Three floors, with an escalator leading up from the main floor to the second (or third?). The dj that night was alright, but the music was a bit slow to get started. By 1 AM though it was all very good.

Saturday night, well...Neil and I were invited to a party at the second floor of Rivoli, a restaurant-bar-lounge on Queen Street West. I had coffee at Rivoli and got all pumped to party, only to go upstairs to find that a) we didn't know anyone there, and b) it wasn't really a dancing party. So we walked home in light rain at around 2 AM, and collapsed.

Sunday was good, we had lunch at Spring Rolls restaurant on Dundas, near Yonge and Dundas Square (pictures to come from that later!) with mutual friends Craig and Jasmine...who, may I add, are one of the cutest and sweetest couples I know.

The cute couple, in person!

Aw, fag + his hag

My mango salad...I was surprised to find that it was actually a salad consisting entirely of mango strips. I was expecting some slices of mango in a regular salad, but...well. The "fish sauce" it was supposed to come in was completely nonexistent, though.

Obligatory group shot.

So now its Monday morning and I am looking forward to a new week of 9-5 excitement. I am really feeling that Michael Gray song "The weekend."

prison break

2008-06-18T11:29:00.014-04:00

I was walking to work this morning, listening to my usual CBC morning show As It Happens, which was following up on the huge prison break in Kandahar last Friday. Now it's being reported that up to 400 insurgents amongst the 1000 dangerous criminals are roaming around, while the Canadian defence minister plays the classic "Well, they're the ones who screwed up" game (they being the Afghani government). This is despite evidence of requests filed last year for upgrades to the prison's security.

Also, with allegations and suspicions flying around about whether this was an inside job, it just goes to show once again how little I (and many average Canadians, I suspect) really know about what goes on in Afghanistan. A military representative on the show put it succintly- "Things are never what them seem in Afghanistan. Loyalties are bought....but this can change at any time."

And something else I found out in the process of reading about the prison break: Canada's tentative pull out date of Afghanistan is 2011! Oh, those memories of a 2009 pull out date seem so distant now. Was it even 2009? I don't know, some ridiculously idealistic timeframe that only the NDP are capable of dreaming up.

As a disclaimer, I don't consider myself by any means an adept analyst of Canadian politics or foreign policy. However, I am slowly getting into the habit of engaging myself at a new level- that of the eligible voter. That's right- I have never voted in a provincial or federal election as of yet, but in anticipation of one (that is, if the Liberals ever decide to show up for motions), I am attempting to have some sort of reference point for myself.

My political party of choice is yet to be decided- but as for now, it is definitely not the Conservatives as long as Stephen Harper is controlling the mothership. As my mother mused once, while driving me to the mall: "Stephen Harper...he looks like evil man."

I don't know about evil, but the things he gets away with are quite atrocious.

after the storm

2008-06-16T10:33:00.003-04:00

It's been thunderstorming, as of late. Usually rainy weather depresses me, but I find that this time, it's quite cathartic. Walking to work today was absolutely beautiful, with the sun shining and everyone out in their jaunty summer shorts and skirts, walking, talking, or enjoying a bit of sun-filled solitude. I wish my life could always be like this- a perpetually sunny morning, walking to a not-too pressing engagement with plenty of time and Jane Birkin's effortlessly sensual voice singing "La Madrague" into my ears.

on being a tourist

2008-06-12T09:45:00.001-04:00

I've been a bad tourist.

Or maybe this is just unique to me being in Toronto. I am here for the summer doing an internship (the usual 9-5 deal), for which I am very grateful, because I have yet to make many friends in this city. I would probably spend a lot of my days at a cafe reading and brooding about life (classic portrait of a Lonely Loser).

I think that Toronto is the kind of city that only truly comes alive when you have friends. Sure, you can say the same for any place in the world, but there are some cities that are so interesting on their own- in terms of local culture, architecture, shopping, and so on- that I could feasibly spend a good period of time by myself and not feel restless or bored. Some examples of cities like this are Paris, London, Marseilles, Lyon, and pretty much all the big cities in Europe I wish I had the moolah to visit.

I am the type of tourist that sets out in the morning with a map, a backpack, a camera and a vague itinerary. I love meandering aimlessly in large cities and stumbling onto places that guidebooks would say are "off the beaten path" - except I stumble on them without the help of a guidebook. It's just more fun that way.

So coming back to Toronto: I live very close to the famous Kensington Market and Chinatown, which places me at the hub of downtown. Well, I suppose when you're talking about such a huge city like Toronto there are many "hubs," but where I live is definitely one of them. I only discovered Little Italy on College Street two weeks ago, and had a wonderful time wandering down by myself and discovering all the charming little shops, restaurants, video stores and bookstores. I even saw a place called "Eat My Martini"-- $6 martinis! Now if only I can find some friends to sip them with, hah.

I do live with a roommate, but he's been vacationing it up in California (I want to go to San Francisco!), so it's just been ronery times for me here. Toronto people- if you have recommendations for cool places, neighbourhoods you like (bonus points for cool places in cool neighbourhoods) whether its for people flying solo or in groups, let me know. I am especially keen on live-performance music/jazz lounges. No hardcore punk or stand up comedy, though...although I don't mind comedy clubs with experienced funny men/women. Seriously, one of the most painful things one can go through is bad stand up comedy. I remember reading a NOW article by a guy who went to stand up comedy every night for a week, and some of the stuff he had to endure just sounded brutal. Did somebody say, "retard" joke? Seriously, jokes about mental handicaps are funny maybe 0.2% of the time, when used extrememly sparingly and by the right comic.

Anyways, I digress.

I checked out the Luminato festivities at Yonge and Dundas Square a few days ago.

The theme for this year (which also happens to be the first) is "Water." I am guessing that these are water molecules?

In the evening they had a performance of disco dance and music. Now, the guy on the sax: Sideshow Bob. Don't tell me you don't see it.

And to finish: my favourite Chinese restaurant name, ever. My roommate and I just crack up every time we pass it, badly imitating mandolins and taking turns saying the name in exaggerated Chinese accents. “In the Eeeat-ting Gaar-den, the Emmp-eror of Chiiiina sits with his thouuuusand concubines.”

You kind of have to be there to appreciate the humor.So anyways…..don’t you want to visit me in Toronto now, and be my friend?

Mmm, smell that desperation.

it's about time somebody said it

2008-06-11T09:46:00.002-04:00

So the headline that caught my attention this morning on the CBC news site was this:
"'I'm just anxious to hear the words, 'I'm sorry.'"

It was from a survivor of a Canadian residential school.

The first thing that ran through my mind was: "They're only doing this now?"

To provide a bit of context for those not familiar with residential schools in Canada:

Between the late 19th Century and the late 1970s, about 150,000 aboriginal children in Canada were taken from their home and forcefully sent to boarding schools, known as residential schools.
Originally an extension of the missionary work of various churches, the schools began receiving state funding in 1874, after the government moved away from a policy of fostering aboriginal autonomy and sought instead to assimilate aboriginals into mainstream society.

From 1920, attendance was compulsory for seven- to 15-year-olds, although many former students say they were taken at a much younger age.
While many parents wanted their children to get an education and felt it was necessary to integrate into Canadian society, many children were taken from their families and communities by force.

The goal was to Christianise the children and to erase all traces of their aboriginal culture. One government official in the late 1920s boasted that within two generations, the system would end the "Indian problem".
(Source: BBC News Americas)

Other than the fact that they existed awhile ago, all of the above was new information for me as well. And that is actually quite troubling.

To elaborate: I am a naturalized Canadian. I was born in South Korea, travelled around Europe for several months with my parents when I was 6 (of which I remember approximately 0.7%), and lived in England for two years until I was 8 years old. In England I promptly erased my young brain of all Korean characters and replaced them with the alphabet under my mother's strict and vigorous watch. At age 9 my family came to Canada and I found myself surrounded by peers amazed by my ability to handwrite. But other than that, I fit in relatively well and lo and behold, ten years later I find myself proud to be a Canadian- nothing more, nothing less.

However, during those ten years I also graduated from the Canadian public education system (British Columbia, to be exact), from which I never really learned about the extent of Canada's literal genocide against the First Nations people. Of course I learned the basics, but the emphasis was definitely on the protracted kerfuffle between the French and the English. And very little page space was given to the residential schools.

Which leads us to today. I am now a university student studying international development. I learn about the genocides of other countries, the wrongs of corrupt institutions and governments of the past and present. And yet it's only today that I took the time to educate myself about Canada's own genocide. The story doesn't end here- I have also been hearing more and more about the deplorable state of First Nations communities in Canada, where conditions are akin to developing countries.

So I guess what I'm trying to say here is that it's not just the Canadian government that should be saying and feeling sorry. It should be me and every Canadian that don't know about the neglected state of First Nations communities and people in Canada today. I can't deny that news stories have flashed across my screen regarding First Nations, but it was so easy to push it out of my mind because lets face it- I don't live on a reserve, nor have I ever been on one. I feel no connection whatsoever with the First Nations community in Canada. I suppose my notion of what it means to be a Canadian is changing with age and a little bit more wisdom.

Well, a new lesson learned today on being a better Canadian.

kerfuffle

2008-06-10T15:49:00.000-04:00

Kerfuffle is a noun.

Kerfuffle is: disorder, commotion; also written curfuffle, kafuffle, gefuffle (Miriam Webster English Dictionary)

"You will most commonly come across this wonderfully expressive word in Britain and the British Commonwealth countries (though the White House spokesman Ari Fleischer used it in January this year). It is rather informal, though it often appears in newspapers. One of the odder things about it is that it changed its first letter in quite recent times. Up to the 1960s, it was written in all sorts of ways — curfuffle, carfuffle, cafuffle, cafoufle, even gefuffle (a clear indication that its main means of transmission was in speech, being too rarely written down to have established a standard spelling). But in that decade it suddenly became much more popular and settled on the current kerfuffle. Lexicographers suspect the change came in response to the way that a number of imitative words were spelled, like kerplop and kerplunk.

In those cases, the initial ker– adds emphasis, as it does in other words, perhaps onomatopoeic but perhaps also borrowing the first syllable of crash. But we know kerfuffle was originally Scots and it’s thought that its first part came from Scots Gaelic car, to twist or bend. The second bit is more of a puzzle: there is a Scots verb fuffle (now known only in local dialect), to throw into disorder, dishevel, or ruffle. No obvious origin for it is known and experts suspect it was an imitative word. It is probably linked with Scots fuff, to emit puffs of smoke or steam, definitely imitative, which in the late eighteenth century also had a sense of going off in a huff or flying into a temper.

Some specialists think kerfuffle is also related to the Irish cior thual, confusion or disorder. It seems to be a minority opinion, though."

- Michael Quinion, World Wide Words.

I hope to entertain, provoke thought, spark debate with the kerfuffles of my everyday life and the universe in general. Expect randomness, inconsistency of theme, and perhaps photographic evidence of my life in various Canadian locales. And by various, I mean two to three.